Say wha'???

OMG... what a weekend... okay wait, I mean what a Friday!!! So the last time I posted I mentioned the fact that ex-man-friend wanted to hang out. I considered it... and I soooo wanted to.... but common sense and good advice from fellow bloggers got the better of me! So on Friday he asked if wanted to hang out after work.... As difficult as it was for me to say, I turned him down, told him I needed time to re-adjust! Thank God he understood. *I did mention that he shud pretend he does even if he doesn't!* LOL! Anywhoooo - so I decided i was gonna have a really chilled friday...watch some TV, catch up on my guitar tutorials, have a magnum and go to bed. Alas, my idiot mind wouldn't let me! So like, there's these dudes from the flat across the road. I haven't actually had a full on conversation with them before... but we've greeted each other on the odd occasion where they watch me from their balcony - that sounds creepy doesn't it? But really, they do... I can feel their eyes on me when I walk past! okay.... so... I was coming from the Pick 'n' Pay down the road and the happened to be there, on the balcony.


Skinny boy: 'Hey Soup. How ya doing?'

Me: 'I'm good, how're you?'

Skinny boy: 'I'm alrite, but I'll be better if you pay us a visit later. We're gonna have a 'lekker braai'. You shud join us.'

Me: 'Hmmm. I'm kinda tired. But I'll think about it.'

Pot belly dude: 'C'mon. It'll be fun. What's your apartment number? We'll come get you around 7!'

Me: (like the idiot that I am) '#16. See y'all later'


OMG.... why am I such an idiot? I mean if the guys were okay looking peeps I would be able to justify my slight lack of common sense! grrr. So I told my house-mate and her man about my predicament and they were like 'Oooh, braai! Let's go.' So 7pm someone buzzes!


Me: (In deep manly voice) 'Ey yo, wassup?'

Skinny boy: 'Hi I'm looking for Soup.'

Me: 'Who the hell are you?'

Skinny boy: 'I'm Skinny Boy from across the road. I invited her to a 'lekker braai'.'

Me: 'Well, she ain't here. I'll tell you stopped by. Does she have yo number?'

Skinny boy: 'No she doesn't. But I'll come back later.'

Me: (to Skinny boy) 'Aight man. I'll let her know' (To self) 'DANGITT, DANGITT, BLOODY SHIT, FLIPPIN HELL!!!


I'm such a dumb-ass aren't I? Well, you haven't heard the worst of it so brace yaself! So the dude comes back at 8pm and my housemate's man answers.


Me: 'You tell him I'm not here, or else!!!'


Of course my bark is totally worse than my bite. Actually, my bark is better classified as a yelp! But somehow I managed to scare the living daylight out of housemate's man-friend. LMAO. So proud, so proud!

Anywhooo.... I'm getting tired of typing so lemme get to the crux of the matter! Basically, housemate and her man-friend convinced me to go... and of course I dragged them with! Thank God. Coz we got there and the 'lekker braai' was pumping! NOT! It was just skinny boy and pot belly dude and a tiny miserable lil excuse for a braai stand! However - I must say the booze was flowing! See, the dudes both work in restaurants and apparently they get free booze. Now I'm not the boozie type... I have a drink maybe once or twice a year... and I've only ever be sloshed once in my life. I've been tipsy a few times, but sloshed? Just once.

Boy, oh boy! I was sitting there... thinking of ex-man-friend and how I was pining for him. Then I decided ah screw it, I'ma have me a drink, which ended up being two then three. But by the third one I was the life of the party! Who-hoo! Clearly my alcohol tolerance levels are seriously low, especially if I get drunk after 3 ciders!

Okay, now I did mention that the worst was yet to come right! So pot-belly dude was totally flirting with me! Now I'm not justifying my idiotic behavior but after being let down by ex-man-friend I thought I deserved a bit of attention. So I flirted back. OMG - what a dumb thing to do! So he starts cosying up to me and he's like standing next to me telling me how he wants to take me out, to wine and dine me, to treat me like the goddess I am! OMG! Can you believe it? Now this would have been totally fine if it wasn't coming from a pot-bellied, bald headed man... note I use the word man - not dude! Seriously! he must be in his, like, 40s or something. Not that men in their 40s are all gross, but pot-belly...eish.... I have no words.

So eventually I'm like 'Peoples, let's go home.' and pot-belly offers to walk us home. Funny how they say you don't remember things you do when you're drunk. Someone must've lied to me! I soooooo remember what happened when we got to the gate. House mate and her man-friend went in and pot-belly grabs me, pulls me into his arms and sticks his tongue in my mouth! Argh! Freak out! WTF????? Yeah, well I guess I deserved it for being such a flirt! But dang. It's the grossest thing that ever happened to me! Yuck! Double Yuck! Later tht night:

*phone rings*

Me: 'Hello'

Pot-belly: 'Hi Soup. Are you sleeping?'

Me: 'Well I was till you woke me up!'

Pot-belly: 'Oh, I'm really sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I'm so glad you came tonight and I can't wait to hang out with you and I hope we're still on for tomorrow night and you're gorgeous and I think you're amazing (me getting more annoyed by the second) and I promise you'll have a great time tomorrow and you're a princess and...'

Me: 'Thanks man, so I'll see you tomorrow!'

Pot-Belly: 'Oh, yeah. I'll let you get some sleep. Take care of yourself, beautiful. See you tomorrow.'

Me: 'Okay cool.' *snore*

OMG... ????? Who does that? who calls people in the middle of the night while they're sleeping? Grrrrrr. In case you're wondering if I went for the 'date' on Saturday - HELL NO! I told him my man had decided to spend the night so I'd have to re-schedule (yes, he thinks I have a man and he still insists on trying to charm me!) Gawddddddddd..... What to do, what to do? Bloody hell! grrrrr he's kinda becoming a bit of a stalker! He called last nite.... and I'm pretty sure if he doesn't wait for me to walk past his place he'll call tonight! Grrrrr...... I'm gonna steal from one of Tamara's posts:

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.- Craig, age 9

Nuff said!